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My Grand Father - Minoru

I didn't know him when he was physically unimpaired.

He suffered a cerebral infarction (stroke) when I was still a few months old. It left him paralyzed on the left side of his body, and also he could not speak too well. To me, he was what he was, I didn't even question why my grandfather was different from others.

Regardless of those impediments, he wasn't my favorite member of the family, to be honest. Very strict, harsh, stubborn... I guess I wasn't his favorite grandchild either, as he always doted on my brother, the only boy among the grandchildren. Well, his fate was to inherit the family so he enjoyed the sweetness while he could before challenges come. I was, on the other hand, free from such traditional customs as I was a girl, my fate was to be kicked out from the home. World is not fair, but no complaints.

Grandpa was a hardcore gardener. He had hundreds of bonsai and many trees and stones placed nicely in the garden. It's impressive now that I think of his physical condition that he was looking after so much of green. I always got yelled at, for example, if I took leaves, dug the ground, or planted some flowers. My friends rarely came to play at my house because they also got yelled at.

Time goes by, and as I left the home and started my own life, every time I visited my home, it made me sad to see the number of bonsai keep decreasing. It was obvious that he was getting old as I could see it in his movements.

At new years day, I visited my home and brought lots of taiyaki, a sweet shaped red sea bream stuffed with sweet bean paste. It's his all time his favorite, and he had 4 pieces of them that day. It made me nervous he ate so many.

He died in his sleep. Autopsy says artery rhexis behind his ear was the cause. Probably he didn't suffer. His face looked peaceful, almost smiling.

I think it was him who was the most frustrated by his physical challenges. For 34 years, out of his life of 85 years, he struggled, irritated with his own body. He must have had a lot he wanted to say but his body wasn't simply capable of. He was finally free from those distractions.

The garden back at my home looks bare now. His favorite yellow plum, roubai (chimonanthus praecox), is in full bloom, as if it's sending him off quietly but as best it can with its sweet scent.

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