Hit a kids play room at Hamacho park after lunch with my husband who was at Iai tournament, and I let my kids playing around with other kids there without saying anything much as usual. Two boys, probably 1st grade, came in later and they started messing around. And they started picking on my boy playing at slide, as they also started playing there, but seemed like they had their own rule to play. Obviously 2 years old was not being cooperative as he was trying to go down the slide, but apparently those two boys didn't like it. They kept looking at me, I assumed usually those moms would jump in and stop such conflicts, although I wasn't a case. They looked confused as they weren't treated like they would've, and became a little loose and bold. My boy didn't give in, wouldn't stop, kept coming back, the one boy whom I can tell for sure was a little tyrant showed my boy a fist to threat him as he would be punched if he didn't listen to that boy. Off course my son didn't know such his rule, just assumed that boy was playing simply showing his fist. Then a punch on leg, another punch on tummy. I held myself, decided I shouldn't do anything until it gets more seriously physical, as sooner or later boys get in physical troubles. Plus, my son's not a type of a kid who would easily give in by a several punches just like me, rather they were the ones who should be scared of.... Anyhow, I witnessed about 5 punches to my son, then I asked that boy if that was how he was treated at home, which I honestly wanted to know. The boy was again confused by me asking him such a puzzled question, instead of stopping him from punching my son. Then he stopped punching. They kept picking on my son, and one time when my son was playing with a block, those boys started taking away the block from him. That's when they swung my son, and he fell on the floor, started crying. Then the other boys about 5, 6th grades came over, started telling those boys they shouldn't treat such a little kid like that. Good job to those elder boys! Then a mom came over to check out what was going on, then she asked me if I was fine with my son crying on the floor, and I immediately told her he was fine, it was just those boys who couldn't figured out how to play with the younger one. She looked very confused! Ha! Then the all boys started playing together, but somehow those elder ones started picking on those boys who were picking on my son, then playing nicely with my son, all giggling and laughing! Good job to my son, too! You earned it!!
It's very sad if that boy has been treated by his parents or someone close to stop whatever he does by showing a fist, which I'm sure that's the case, because the move he took was very smooth, no hesitation. Maybe they are satisfied with the result that boy actually stops, which seems a perfect accomplishment, but truth is, they are simply copying themselves to that boy, and making him stands alone. I'm sure that's how he's been "communicating" with the other kids at school. If someone shows you a fist, telling you he will hit you if you won't listen to him, how do you feel? Do you enjoy companionship with him? You would think it's a trouble to hang out with him, wouldn't you? That's the result his parents are inviting, but I honestly think they would have never ever imagined such a thing.
The point that I'm trying to say here is that the kids themselves have to find the way to communicate with the others, regardless of age or sex, directly. Parents can only guide them, give them hints, but it has to be them who come up with solutions how to communicate. Adults these days think they should rule everything, but kids themselves have their own logic and theory which may not be reasonable to adults, although they have to try and figure out by themselves. Therefore, I'm trying to stay as an observer as much as I could, let my kids to find their way how to swim the human pool. I love them both very much and forgive me kids, but it'll be good for you before you know it.
It's very sad if that boy has been treated by his parents or someone close to stop whatever he does by showing a fist, which I'm sure that's the case, because the move he took was very smooth, no hesitation. Maybe they are satisfied with the result that boy actually stops, which seems a perfect accomplishment, but truth is, they are simply copying themselves to that boy, and making him stands alone. I'm sure that's how he's been "communicating" with the other kids at school. If someone shows you a fist, telling you he will hit you if you won't listen to him, how do you feel? Do you enjoy companionship with him? You would think it's a trouble to hang out with him, wouldn't you? That's the result his parents are inviting, but I honestly think they would have never ever imagined such a thing.
The point that I'm trying to say here is that the kids themselves have to find the way to communicate with the others, regardless of age or sex, directly. Parents can only guide them, give them hints, but it has to be them who come up with solutions how to communicate. Adults these days think they should rule everything, but kids themselves have their own logic and theory which may not be reasonable to adults, although they have to try and figure out by themselves. Therefore, I'm trying to stay as an observer as much as I could, let my kids to find their way how to swim the human pool. I love them both very much and forgive me kids, but it'll be good for you before you know it.
Comments