Daughter's 6th birthday party at home today. 8 girls playing in a small
room, making bead accessories. A boy came over and asked if he could
play, too. A girl said "you can't play because you're a boy". Then I
wondered if it was too naive to call discrimination. How did she come up
with the result that he couldn't join because he was not a girl? What
was the deciding factors of this judgment? Did her family give her a
guideline? Did she learn from her friends? I was simply curious how she
learned that concept.
I try to be mutual and am trying to guide my kids they should not be
stereotyped and not be judgmental, but this is too powerful if you're 6
years old, surrounded by girl friends who have clear ideas what girls
should do and boy should not. They know how to segregate before knowing what that means.
I know some people have girls only or boys only birthday parties, and
even adults have such gatherings, services such as ladies day, etc.
Practically speaking and major common cognizance is that the behaviors
and preferences differ between gender. I understand it's easier to handle the group alike. It's the tendencies you see but
it clouds your judgment and the mind that everyone is different.
Am I worrying too much?
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1 comment:
Hiroko
Your observation is perfect. But don't worry at all. The values you have instilled will always be there, but as individuals, your children will have to test those values against all the others that they will encounter. Some of the values or lessons you have attempted to teach them will survive, but some will be modified or even rejected. It is the way of parents and children. Regarding gender difference... I only raised boys but when I visited friends with girls, the differences in social settings were acute. Communication and play are so very different between boys and girls and the causes are a combination of hormone differences and subtle conditioning by media and cultural. Smile... you are doing just fine!!!
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